What Should I Do to Get My Ex Back
A breakup is always a tough thing to contend with, and if the infinite “wisdom” of sitcoms were to be believed, then the best advice would be for a person who has just came out of a breakup to simply move on with their life and find another partner to spend their time with. Indeed, if these TV shows are to be believed, how can you get your girlfriend back is no more challenging than picking up a phone.
However, when you have been in a long-term, emotionally charged and committed relationship it is hard to simply turn off your feelings at the drop of a hat, and to merely forget the time you spent with your ex-girlfriend. So what are some of the best ways for how can you get your girlfriend back?
Identify the flaws in the relationship
All relationships, whether they be a friendship, a working relationship, a business arrangement, a marriage or boyfriend/girlfriend require the same things to work healthily:
- Mutual respect
- Mutual trust
- Equal division of labour
- Healthy communication
Therefore, if you have split from your girlfriend then you need to give some serious contemplation as to where exactly did the relationship go wrong. Did your ex feel as if they were appreciated enough, or that you did not give them the love, affection and support that they needed? Perhaps you allowed other priorities such as your career and health to overshadow your duties as a boyfriend. In that case, by entering into an emotionally neutral dialogue with your ex-girlfriend, you can pinpoint where you went wrong and then work towards remedying the breach.
In order to achieve how can you get your girlfriend back, you will need to give some serious consideration as to these very issues.
Please note that there is a very important caveat in this equation: the purpose of this exercise is not intended to serve as a pretext to abuse and criticize your ex for all of their flaws (whether real or perceived). Rather, the purpose of the exercise is to find the problems, and then work together to fix them. As such then, blame should not be apportioned and so to that end then, condemn the behaviour rather than the person.
Therefore, rather than saying something like:
“I hate how you never spent any time with me, and made me feel as if I was always second best in your life!”
Try:
“I wish that you could have spent more time with me, rather than allowing work and other commitments overshadow our relationship.”
Let the dust settle between the two of you
One of the worst mistakes to make when trying to get back with your ex-girlfriend is trying too soon. The reason for this is simple: the emotional hurt and damage will still be very real and very powerful indeed. As such then, that painful reminder of seeing you so soon may inevitably result in a breakdown in communications before you even have a chance to enter into a dialogue with your partner.
Remember, everyone deals with rejection and breakup differently, and so while you maybe feeling ok with how things are and have turned out, your ex-girlfriend may still be somewhat emotionally fragile. If she feels that you are merely exploiting her vulnerability then you may get back together with her for a brief period of time….before losing her for good. Don’t let your pursuit of how can you get your girlfriend back tempt you into engaging in unethical and underhanded conduct.
